“You’re doing everything right.”It can be frustrating to see your teen struggle and not make much progress. She may be frustrated too. When your teen opens up to you and expresses their fear that they’ll never get well or their disgust with the side effects of their medicine, it’s time to turn on the sympathy.
We all want to be understood. Often, there is nothing anyone can do to change our situation, but it can be incredibly comforting to know that someone understands what we are feeling. The validation and reassurance you give your teen that you understand goes a long way. It lets your teen know that you’re on they’re side and that you know they’re trying. It can literally knock their stress level from a ten to a more-manageable three. You’ll gain their trust because they’ll see that there’s a benefit to sharing their feelings.
Here are a few things you can say when your child is upset:
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“I’m listening. Tell me more.”
“You’re doing everything right.”
“It must be discouraging to work so hard and not progress at the rate you want.”
“I truly think things will get better, but I know it’s hard in the meantime.”
In addition to having some sympathetic phrases handy, if your teen has a number of complaints, it can help to break the issues into groups. For example: problems with a friend and side effects from the medicine. This way the teen knows they are struggling with two issues, when it may feel like ten. If they have a plan for dealing with each issue, even if it’s just to wait a week or two, reinforce that they have at least something of an approach to each issue.