“Think of your teen’s recovery in three phases: crisis phase, healing phase, and recovery phase.”Mental illness tends to emerge slowly in teens. It can be difficult to pinpoint exactly when it started and even more difficult to estimate when it will resolve. Nevertheless, it is important for parents to have an idea of what to expect so that they can plan in terms of their job, their other children, and their teen’s school year.
First, keep in mind that your child has probably been ill for a while already. Mental illness is insidious in the sense that it comes on so slowly that the victim barely notices, and the changes in the patient are so gradual that it can take a while for loved ones to notice. Recovery is equally slow and gradual.
Think of your teen’s recovery in three phases: crisis phase, healing phase, and recovery phase.
Crisis Phase: Your teen may be in a state of crisis This can be a confusing time because parents have to figure out what is going on and how to find help. It helps if everybody can remain patient and hopeful. Remember, if you cross a therapist off your list, you’ve gotten closer to finding the right person. It usually takes a month or two to find the right therapist and psychiatrist and to notify the school.
Healing Phase: Your teen will begin the process of improving, regressing, and then improving some more. Medicine trials can take weeks to months. Take comfort in the fact that your teen is receiving good care and everyone is doing the best they can. This phase of learning about the illness and stabilizing the symptoms is likely to take six months to a year. This may seem like a long time, but it may be comforting to know that your teen’s rate of progress is rather typical.
Recovery Phase: Your teen will continue to improve but may not be able to handle as much schoolwork or as many activities as in the past. They may also still be trying to deal with medicine side effects. In addition, this final recovery phase may include changes in friends, interests, and activities. This phase is likely to last a year.
Remember that these are estimates. Your child’s timeline may be different, but hopefully it will help you to plan. Don’t hold back on alerting the school about what is going on with your teen. They can be your best ally, possibly providing on-campus support and assistance with classes and scheduling. Depending upon your work situation, you may find it helpful to let your boss know what is going on. This is a decision that must be carefully weighed. It is likely that you will need to be available to your teen more in the early part of recovery than later.
Keep a weekly record of what is going on with your teen. Progress can be so slow that it feels like none is occurring. With a record, you can occasionally look back and realize how far your teen has come. In the case of something like depression, it can be useful to rate the severity of the depression on a daily basis using a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being barely depressed and 5 suicidal. Often, the patient believes he is still depressed when, really, he is considerably improved. Watch for significant changes that indicate improvement and praise your teen for making strides. Something as simple as being willing to resume walking to school again instead of being driven is cause for celebration.
“Some illnesses mimic mental illness…some medicines can incite symptoms like depression, anxiety, and even psychosis “