“Kids can’t talk to just anyone. But ‘just anyone’ is a waste of everybody’s time.”Evaluating a therapist is a little like tasting food; it’s awfully subjective. Therapists have different styles, and you may have to try two or three before you find the one that’s right for your teen. In this article, we’ll talk about how to find good prospects, what the different degrees mean, and how to evaluate your candidates.
Finding the Perfect Therapist for Your Teen
To begin your search, consider asking for local references from the following sources:
- Your child’s school counselor or school psychologist
- Your religious leader or a youth minister
- Your child’s pediatrician
- Your local behavioral health hospital
If you are using your health insurance, it’s a good idea to print a list of providers with whom your insurance company contracts. See if any of the names you’ve heard recommended appear on that insurance list and put them on your own search list. You may notice that some therapists are in the same office. In this case, you’ll speak to a receptionist when you call. If you manage to get the receptionist at a time when she’s not too busy (avoid early mornings and Mondays) she may be able to describe some of the therapists in the office. Your teen might prefer a woman or may not do well with someone who is brusque. Sometimes a teen is better able to identify the type of person they want when they meet someone who is not right for them.
The best choice for your teen is likely to be someone who works with adolescents. If you check the local therapy offices and the hospital, you may be able to find someone who offers group therapy for teens. This person is probably a good choice for one-on-one therapy with your teen. Beyond that, someone with a degree as a marriage and family therapist (MFT) will understand teens or at least be able to recommend a therapist who does.
Understanding the Different Therapist Degrees
Let me make this easy for you. In my experience, the degree does not mean much. It really comes down to the individual.Just for the record though, here’s what they all mean:
PhD: A therapist with a PhD holds a doctorate in psychology with an emphasis on theory and research.
PsyD: These therapists hold a doctorate as well, but their training is more clinically oriented. They may have spent considerable time interning in a behavioral health hospital.
MFT: Marriage and family therapist. These individuals hold a master’s degree and provide marriage counseling and family therapy. If your teen is working with a therapist, you and your spouse can optimize your teen’s progress by hiring an MFT to coach you through the illness.
LCSW: Licensed Clinical Social worker. These individuals have a master’s degree in social work and often work with families. Sometimes they function as a caseworker in a hospital or mental health agency. Since some of their training includes short-term work, they are adept at getting to work immediately, making them great therapists.
Making the Initial Contact
Let’s say you have assembled your list. Set aside some time when you’ll have privacy. This may not be easy if you work in an office with coworkers within earshot. If that’s the case, don’t be afraid to request that the therapist call you at home after work. A caring professional won’t mind calling you after hours. Therapists are busy with clients during the day anyway and may prefer it.
Leave a message with five or so different therapists. Some will not call back if they aren’t taking new clients, and others may tell you that they do not work with teens, so cast a wide net. Along with your name and telephone number, state the name of your insurance carrier. Most therapists take insurance, but many don’t take every carrier. Some therapists do not take insurance at all but may charge less than the typical rate.
Explain what you need in a single sentence. Write it down if this is difficult for you. Something like, “I’m looking for a therapist for my fourteen-year-old son who is suffering from depression” should work.
Be forewarned. Many therapists do not treat adolescents. Moreover, some don’t handle certain types of illnesses because they lack training in, say, anorexia. Often, however, these individuals can recommend another therapist who does handle such a case. You may think it best not to scare away the therapist. For example, if your teen has been arrested, you may prefer to withhold this information until you meet with her.
If you haven’t found anyone to meet with after two days, either because you did not get call-backs or nonesounded right, call the next five therapists on your list. If one therapist sounds good but cannot meet with your teen for, say, three weeks, make the appointment and keep searching for someone you can meet with sooner. You can always cancel the later appointment if you find someone your teen likes.
The Real Test of a Good Therapist
I will tell you the truth about my search for therapists. It took five tries for me to find the right person for my son and six tries to find the right person for my daughter. Kids can’t talk to just anyone. But “just anyone” is a waste of everybody’s time. Do keep in mind that the first appointment is usually a get-to-know-you appointment in which it may be difficult to evaluate the therapist. But if the chemistry is truly bad at the first meeting, call it quits.
But the real test I use to evaluate a therapist consists of asking myself these questions every time I leave the office:
- What do I know now that I didn’t know when I walked in?
- Do I feel more or less in control of things than when I walked in?
If you find yourself answering one of these questions in the negative, keep looking. Maintain a long-distance runner’s point of view, and don’t get discouraged. The right person is out there.
“Therapists are often surprised to hear a parent mention details that the teen didn’t happen to share with her. A good therapist will invite you in periodically to describe what is going on at home.”