25
Nov 24

How Do you Live with the Risk of a Suicide?

Teenager“I found that developing a philosophical attitude toward suicide was necessary for my own peace of mind.”

You may have never thought of suicide as a coping skill, but for the teen who feels alone or who has never been treated for depression, suicide ideation may be the only response they know. Treatment changes that. Once they are in therapy and begin to learn better coping skills, the threat will lessen. For many teens, discovering that there are alternatives to suicide is a tremendous relief.

Meanwhile, it is scary to live with the knowledge that your child has been vulnerable to suicide. Long after the immediate threat was resolved, I still fretted that one day one of my children would commit suicide. I found that developing a philosophical attitude toward suicide was necessary for my own peace of mind.

We all want our children to live long, happy lives, and hopefully, they will. But no matter what we do, we cannot avoid every possible danger that could threaten our offspring. Cancer, a car wreck, or alcohol poisoning at a fraternity party are only a few of the possibilities that we, as parents, learn to coexist with. The reality of death is a risk we take when we become parents. In the meantime, we do everything we can to prevent the possibility of a suicide occurring. We keep the line of communication open with our children by never judging them or making them regret sharing their feelings with us. We help them get the medical care they require. We help them learn how to manage their illness. We encourage them to find a balance between stress and wellness. After that, we accept that our role as parents has limits, and we get on with our own lives. What else can we do?


18
Nov 24

When Your Teen Comes Home From the Mental Health Hospital

LeavingHospital.jpg“As with any illness, a brief setback may occur once the support of the hospital is removed.”

When a loved one has surgery, you bring him home with a list of after-care instructions: keep the arm elevated; apply ice every hour. Whenever I brought a teen home from the behavioral health hospital, I found myself asking, “What do I do now?” My teen was usually shaky at best, sometimes still on the verge of being suicidal. As with any illness, a brief setback may occur once the support of the hospital is removed. The first few days will probably be the hardest. Many teens find it jolting to leave the calm consistency of the hospital. Keep the following in mind to ease the re-entry:

  • Don’t plan any kind of a celebration. Your teen will not be up for it.
  • Don’t invite anybody over. If your teen wants to see a friend, that’s okay, but keep well-meaning relatives away for these first few days.
  • Make their favorite meal.
  • Try to establish set meal times and stick to them. Your teen will appreciate the predictability.
  • Try to structure the days as much as possible, mimicking the hospital’s use of repetition to de-stress your teen’s brain. For example: eat; go for a walk or a short outing; do homework; rest. Repeat. I know this may be a tall order, but the more you can structure the day, the easier the transition will be and the quicker the recovery will be.
  • If there is tension in your house that you cannot eliminate, a grandparent or other relative may be willing to let your teen come and stay for a while.
  • Secure the environment, even if your teen has not been suicidal. Put away knives and lock up medicines. Guns of any kind have no place in your home anymore. Taking these measures will give everybody, including him, peace of mind.
  • Above all, stay strong and know that you will get through this.